I must be too annoying 4 u.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
