He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
