Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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