i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
