i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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