I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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