I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
