Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Randomize
