Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
