If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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