Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
