You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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