I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
