fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
