Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
