Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
