big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
