Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
