Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she woke up with a sticky ear
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
