Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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