Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
