i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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