well I can't set my house on fire every night
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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