Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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