so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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