Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
