Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
