You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
