so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Randomize
