I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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