I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
pop tarts are not kleenex
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
