my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
