Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
