found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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