I'm laying in your front yard are you home
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
