She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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