we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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