She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
