The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
