Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
