Is it normal to miss your booty call?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
