that's an acceptable place to lick
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
