I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
