that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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