I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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