Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
