Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
