Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
