i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
