Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
