so that wasnt chicken after all
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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