Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
