Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
